During the six years I've participated in NaNoWriMo I've seen Wrimos do a lot of wacky stuff: writing their novel in 24 hours, writing half a million words in 30 days, starting their novels over half-way through, coming from 25k words behind in the last two days to win. I always applauded their efforts, encouraged by their enthusiasm. But every year the majority of participants did something I thought I'd never understand: they quit.
Well, now I understand.
After spending almost the entire year rewriting another novel, I just don't have enough writerly mojo left over to make NaNoWriMo work. I gave it my best shot. But I'm a spoiled writer: one month of prep just isn't enough for me anymore (especially for a novel based on the astrophysics of neutron stars).
Unfortunately, this is also likely my last NaNoWriMo. As much as it might seem like a contradiction, my commitment to writing has deepened enough that NaNo now seems more like a distraction than an opportunity.
But I'll always be grateful for this crazy event and the people who put it together and support it every year. When I participated for the first time in 2004 I'd never written a novel before, and all but two of my short-fiction pieces had never even been finished. But I overcame my drive for perfection and lack of confidence, and reached my 50,000th word and, soon after, The End. It was a revelatory moment. And I would go on to do it four more times, as well as writing another novel in the "off season" and rewriting two of them from scratch. It's difficult to articulate everything I've learned from my participation in this brilliantly transgressive creative event. I suspect it has changed my life in ways I have yet to fully realize.
But the time has come to move on. I wish now I'd remained faithful to my original decision to not participate this year, to retire gracefully from NaNoWriMo. But life, like art, is sometimes a messy process. So this is my messy goodbye.
Good luck to everyone still reaching for novely greatness. It's a wild ride if you can see it through. And my humble thanks to Lauren for allowing me to blog here. Even if very few people read it, I've found an important sense of closure in being able to publicly express my thoughts.
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I also started NaNoWriMo in 2004. It was the first time I had finished writing any fiction in at least ten years, and just getting to the end of the story was so very liberating. When I read it and it didn't suck I was overjoyed.
ReplyDeleteI'm committed to finishing my story this year, but it is book three of a trilogy so I may actually be skipping NaNoWriMo in 2010 for similar reasons to your own - I need to edit the trilogy into some kind of shape for submission, and NaNoWriMo would soak up too much energyfrom that endeavour. I have other ideas, but adding a seventh incomplete manuscript to the stack may just be the wrong thing for me to do.
Good luck with your rewrites.
It is indeed a sad day in NaNoLand to be either permanently or temporarily losing two long time WriMo's.
ReplyDeleteDunx, I have known you since my first year of NaNoWriMo in 2005. It was the one year I know of that we wore costumes to the Kick-off party, and you were wearing a crown on your head for what I believe was a part of your trilogy, spouting words that I did not know. I was truly entertained. If a year off from NaNoWriMo is what it is going to take for you to polish it off and share your work with the rest of the world, then I applaud you. (And I'm sorry I was unable to get that wax stamp to you for your plot ninja this year.) If you do decide to take off 2010, I hope to see you return soon. For me, it won't be the same without you.
Myself, I am just getting over my fear of writing stage. I believe next year I am going to focus on writing something more serious also and starting my own trilogy I've been dreaming up for years. Perhaps I'm ready. We shall see.
And Atalanta, I understand how one can go beyond NaNoWriMo. I'm sure few if any mainstream authors participate (but of course, don't know that for sure). Heck, I may be like you in another few years. I'm sure you know what is best for you and have given it a lot of thought. You're literary mojo is probably exhausted. I would of course encourage you to try to stick it out this one last time in fear that you may one day look back and wish you had, but as you said in your post, before even you didn't understand why people quit. But I'm not one to talk because even I gave in last year when life took a drastic turn for me. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us updated of your progress.
I'm certain NaNoWriMo will still be here if you ever decide you wish to return, either for nostalgia or because you just want to be crazy again. But for now, I see your are spreading your literary wings and preparing to take flight, and I wish the best of adventures to you.
Best of luck to you, Atalanta. I can see why you'd not want to step away from a WIP for a month. I debated it myself this year, and know others who decided to take a pass this year for the same reason. It's hard not to get swept up in the energy and hilarity of NaNo. There aren't many writerly events in the world, we writers don't often get to indulge in crazy, creative marathons. I'm sure NaNo will still be here in a couple years if you have time between projects and want to join in the fray again. In the meantime, happy writing!
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